Adam Tries a Betel Nut

The almond-sized seeds of the tropical betel palm tree, betel nuts are chewed throughout southeast Asia for their distinctive buzz. Taiwan has the most developed betel nut culture of any country in the region. Taxi cab and truck drivers chew the nuts for stimulation sans the diuretic effects of coffee and tea. Young women dressed in lingerie sell the nuts from neon-lit glass cubicles along roadways. Although many Taiwanese assume that these “betel nut beauties” are connected with prostitution and crime, the girls also have supporters, including feminists who argue that the practice is empowering (See Tobie Openshaw’s documentary trailer at YouTube). Unfortunately, betel nuts are known to be addictive, carcinogenic, and notorious for staining teeth, gums, and spit-strewn sidewalks bright red.

Of course, I had to try one.

Teacher John came to my rescue. While hanging at an all-you-can-drink lounge Saturday night with the A1 Language School family, John presented me with a pack of 20 nuts (price tag of 100 NTD, slightly less than $3 US). Apparently, veteran male teachers at our school have a custom of buying rookies their first pack. The newcomers generally try one nut, nearly vomit, then discard the rest.

First, John and I offered a nut to everyone in the bar, and each time we were greeted by a look of unabashed revulsion. Then, stepping into a Taiwanese thundershower (its typhoon season here) I popped one into my mouth. The taste was indescribable, so I won’t try. The buzz felt like smoking three Lucky Strikes, drinking two shots of espresso, and spinning around in circles for a minute– all at the same time. We spat furiously into a shared Dixie cup, then hawked the blood-red pulp into some bushes.

I still have the pack, now with eighteen nuts, and I keep threatening Devin that I’m going out on the porch to chew them. But I don’t think I will. The thought of losing my lower jaw or esophagus to cancer isn’t very appealing; and I can’t imagine much worse than becoming addicted to these things. But, my motto is “trying everything twice,” so it may just be a matter of time…

Above: Photo of my remaining betel nuts, with the package. Devin makes a great "ewwww" face when she says they look like "alien seed pods."